July 26, 2016
A great birthday with the hubby and the grrls!  The place I am definitely feels right...finally!  Still a little slow to get up and moving in the AM but in the 'good ole days', I was a night owl so maybe this is how it should be...I guess we'll see how it goes.

Later this afternoon, I am volunteering to do some damage to the Annex bldg where Create Portage County is utilizing the space on the ground floor.  I think it will be therapeutic.  I am also hoping to learn more about the organization to see how they plan on supporting art and artists in the community.

Anyhoo, today's piece is unfinished, as so many are and a bit dark but one I am looking forward to finishing.


One Hit Wonder
MPOTOCKI


She didn’t realize just how deep into the shit she had gotten until she tried to claw her way out.  Living on the street, hooking for cash to either score dope or have the occasional meal, it was easy to loose oneself in the underbelly of society.  She would have stayed there until it eventually killed her.  Then he came along.  Fucker.  Remembered her from that ‘one hit wonder’ and took it upon himself to save her.  She didn’t need to fucking be saved.  She wanted to slowly fade into black and was doing a damn good job of it if she didn’t say so herself.

She was peeing in the gutter, smoking a cigarette and trying to balance on the balls of her feet to keep from falling into her own urine.  It had been a helluva few days.  She had found a party with lots of booze, drugs and dudes who wanted to get blown or otherwise.  She spent the weekend there, high and drunk and not caring who did what to her, as long as she could keep the booze and drugs flowing through her.  Then Monday morning came and they booted her to the curb, literally. That’s where he saw her.  He would have walked by, not paying her a second glance if she hadn’t broke into character and started the cult film’s opening scene.  He stopped dead in his tracks, turned and approached the filthy woman peeing in the street.  He swept her matted hair from her face and looked at her.  He smiled and asked if she wanted to come with him. 

“Sure if you got money or other party supplies,” she slurred, standing up slowly, weaving from side-to-side enough for him to steady her.    “Right here in the street?”  “Damn, boy, let’s at least go over to the wall so I can lean you up against something.”  “No, no,” he said sadly.  “I don’t want to have sex with you.”  “Can I buy you some coffee or breakfast or something?”  She shrugged, thinking coffee would warm her up as she began to realize just how cold it was this morning.  “Whatever, as long as you’re buying.”  “ I like my coffee black, like how I like my men.”  That sent her into a peal of laughing and coughing and wheezing that pained him to watch.  He wondered what had happened to this amazing woman to bring her to this.  After the incredible success of the film, she was unable to find other work.  She had made attempts to break-out of the mold created by the film, but was unsuccessful, slowly becoming a has-been and faded out of the limelight.  He assumed she just retired somewhere and moved on with her life.  The last person he ever expected to ever see, let alone have breakfast with was Ms Nora Livingston, star of the now cult film:  Zombie Queen of the Apocalypse.

As they made their way into the diner, most people quickly moved as far as possible away from the smelly, mostly naked and very drunk woman and her sidekick.  He smugly ushered Nora into a booth, palming the waitress who had quickly appeared to most likely ask them to leave, a hundred dollar bill.  “Two cups of Joe, please.”  “Black.”  Looking into her hand, Doris shut her mouth and went to grab two mugs and the steaming pot of coffee from the counter.

“Ms Livingston,” Jakub said soothingly, “Are you hungry?”  “Can I order you some thing to eat?”  Doris had returned with the coffee and was pouring it when Nora snorted, “How’s about some brains?”  Falling into a fit of cackling and spitting at her own remark.  “That one never gets old!”  “I was thinking of something a bit more traditional, like bacon and eggs,” Jakub stated firmly, not allowing her to reply.  Nora was lost in recovering from her latest fit of laughter, wiping tears from her eyes and spittle from the corners of her mouth.  Nothing about this woman was pretty anymore, Jakub thought to himself, but, remarkably, there was still something about her that made people give her a second glance between her bursts of drunken revelry.  For most of those in the diner, it was most likely a train wreck situation - you didn’t want to look but once you did, you couldn’t keep from watching to see what would happen next. 

As the morning wore on and the alcohol and drugs began to taper their hold on her, Nora became sullen and slightly panicky.  She often came off her buzz in a strange place with strange people but it was usually some seedy place with questionable characters.  She was a bit put off by the fact that she was in a diner looking across the table at what appeared to be a normal guy.

“You a cop?” she finally said quietly, fear darting in her eyes and panic causing her to fidget and tap her fingers on the table.  Calmly, Jakub placed his hand over hers and looked her squarely in the eyes.  “I am very pleased to meet you Ms Livingston.”  “My name is Jakub and I’m one of your biggest fans.”  It took a few moments for what he said to her to sink in and find that long forgotten and far away place where she had been somebody.  She sat up a bit straighter, ran her fingers through her hair and smiled her best paparazzi smile.  “Very nice to meet you, Jakub.”  Those in the diner saw a thin, sallow  and haggard looking woman with yellow teeth and dirty fingernails smiling creepily at the man across from her.  What Jakub saw was Nora at her best, a blonde, sun-kissed starlet.

“Do you have a place to stay, Ms Livingston?”  Jakub asked furtively.  “I would be happy to see you home.”  She puzzled this out for awhile, trying to remember if she actually had a place of her own at this particular point in time or if she was just mooching off anyone she could blow for a couch to crash on.  “Benny,”  she spurted, finally.  “I’m staying with my friend Benny.”  She hadn’t seen Benny for years and didn’t think that he even lived in the city anymore, but she didn’t want to seem too desperate and lost to a fan, one of her biggest fans, no less. 

“Where does Benny live?”  “I can drive you there, Ms Livingston.”  “Please let me make sure you get home safely,” Jakub almost pleaded, mentally berating himself for sounding so pathetic.  He hoped she hadn’t noticed.  He hoped she was trying to figure out that she really had not place to go so he could suggest that she come home with him.  To have her in his home would be the most amazing thing to happen to him in his life.  He slipped into a little moment of dreamy bliss as he imagined Nora at his home, sleeping in his bed, dining with him.  He felt a tightness in his pants as well as a loss of control begin to take over.  “Would you excuse me, Ms Livingston.”  “ I have to use the restroom.”  “I’ll be right back.”  “Please let the waitress know if you need anything else, ok?”  He had his coat draped over the back of the booth and grabbed it as he arose to cover his embarrassing hardness.  He felt a flush come over his face as he quickly turned away to head to the back of the diner.  “Stupid Buck!”  “Who do you think you are trying to get out to meet HER!!”  “You aren’t fit to lick her shoes, you dirty, filthy little fucker!”  Jakub hated this part of himself and worked very hard to keep his dark side under wraps.  He wasn’t quite sure how he had let his guard down here, in front of Ms Livingston, but knew what he had to do to tuck his darker half back into the underbelly of his soul.  He made sure that no one else was in the bathroom and then leaned against the door so no one could come in until he was done.  Grabbing a handful of paper towels from the dispenser, turning on the faucet, he unzipped and put Buck to bed.

When Jakub left the bathroom and headed back toward the booth he was sharing with Ms Livingston, he stopped short when he saw one of the patrons sitting nearly on her in the booth.  They were kissing and laughing.  He got to the booth in what felt like one huge step, grabbing the man from off Ms Livingson and tossing him into the tables behind him.  “Have some respect for one of the best actresses ever!”  “Don’t you know who this IS?!”  “You worthless, no good piece of dog shit!”  “Don’t even look at her again!”  “GET OUT!!” 

“Baby, I was just having a little fun.”  “Don’t get mad.”  “Baby, he just wanted to talk.”

Jakub felt Ms Livingston pawing at his backside to get him to turn around and let her know that he was not mad at her and that he was still her adoring fan.  He spun around, almost causing her to tumble onto the floor.  “Don’t do that again.”  “Let’s go,” he snapped at her, tossing money to Doris at the counter.

Nora stumbled and fumbled out of the booth and onto her feet, realizing that the shoes she had on did not match and that one heel was taller than the other.  It made walking while sober a bit more challenging than it should be.

“Wait!”  “Jack.”  “Whatever your name was.”  “Wait for me, please.”  It was the please that stopped Jakub at the door.  A deep breath allowed him to turn around and apologize for his brusqueness.  “Ms Livingston, please accept my apology for being rude.”  “I thought that man was hurting you and I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to you on my watch.” 

Nora arrived at the door as Jakub finished is apology, tripping into him when she slipped on something wet on the floor.  He caught her and felt the ecstasy starting to move in again.  He stood her upright and suggested to Doris that she clean up the floor before someone got hurt.

The sunlight burned her swollen and bloodshot eyes.  Now she remembered why she hated to go out during the day - the fucking sun hurt!  Wiping away the tears that sun forced from her eyes, she lost sight of Jakub for a few moments.  In those moments, she pondered if she should bother to look for him or if she should just move on to her next party.  Wrapped in a constant shroud of self-loathing, she opted to move on.  Jakub, on the other hand, had other ideas.  “Ms Livingston,”  she heard him say curtly, “My car is over here.”  Before she had the opportunity to turn away, he had her but the arm and was guiding her toward his sedan.  “OOhh, so you like the rough stuff, huh?”  she quipped.  She didn’t know why his laughter made all the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end or why she felt very sick to her stomach all of a sudden.  She was very tired so shrugged it off as part of her hangover.  If only she had listened to her gut.

The care Jakub took with her those first few weeks was beyond belief for someone she had only just met.  She went through withdrawal hard.  Jakub was there, holding her hair when she puked.  Placing cool cloths on her when she was burning up.  Nora couldn’t tell dreams from reality as her body purged itself from all the crap she had constantly put into.  She would occasionally wake up from a fitful sleep and see Jakub sitting and watching her.  Nora blamed the detox for the times she saw a Jakub sitting there that didn’t feel like Jakub.  That Jakub made her want to flee from the room or crawl into a small, dark corner and hide, neither of which she was remotely capable of doing.  There was something in his eyes that terrified her, but when morning came and Jakub brought her coffee and toast, he was the Jakub she had first met, not the one of her dreams.   

As her body acclimated to it’s sober life, she felt more alive and stronger every day.  Her relationship with Jakub was refreshing.  He didn’t want anything from her other than someone to talk to.  No sex.  No expectations.  Nothing.  All he seemed to want was for her to be happy.  When she would weaken and feel the pulls of her former life, he would distract her with teaching her something new.  For some reason, he made it OK for her not to have these things.  There was a calmness and comfort about him that put her at ease, at least most of the time.  They would take walks along the nearby lake and stay up late into the night, talking and laughing.  Jakub was her true friend.  Something Nora had not had in a very long time.  Maybe ever.  From a young girl until her quick rise to stardom at 18, people had always been there for her but none were truly a friend.  She hung around a few other starlets but they just used each other to meet other actors or to get into better parties.  It wasn’t a true friendship like the one she had now.  Whenever she tried to tell Jakub this, she just wandered off into thought, thinking that if she verbally acknowledged it, it would burst like a bubble and she would awaken on some dirty couch in some smoky apartment or the county jail.  One of the local cops was a zombie movie aficionado and whenever he found her drunk, high or both, wandering the streets, he would always take her in and let her sleep it off.  He would have to cut her loose in the morning, but it made him feel good to give the Zombie Queen of the Apocalypse a bed for the night.